School's out for summer!!!

Yes, thank God we have completed another year of school. The boys (Stephen, Joseph, Thomas and Kieran) have all completed their final quarter tests a few weeks ago and they have received their report cards. Kieran will be doing some work on math over the summber to be prepared for Eighth grade Algebra in the fall. A little summer school work should be good. The girls are still working on their material for submition. Claire was in the hospital over the weekend because she had another surgery on June 24th. Claire is still trying to complete her school work and get everything for the freshmen year handed in so that she can enjoy the summer.
We hope to enjoy our time together this summer with family. We pray the next few weeks will be uneventful and peaceful.
God Bless you and thank you so much for your prayers.

A note from Nancy Mills - Ethan's Mom

Dear friends,

Just a quick note to let you know, if you haven't heard already..... Ethan passed away on Wednesday morning at 3 am. We (the whole family) were with him the whole way, and were privileged to take him to Heaven's gates. We sent him off with all our love.....

Ethan was peaceful and not afraid. He was not anxious ..... he was just.... Ethan..... such an amazing person. I was privileged to serve and care for him.

Mike and I cannot take credit for Ethan's unique perspective on life.... we wish we could....(I think I could make zillions of dollars if I could bottle just a tenth of what Ethan was about).

We also know that it's really not all about Ethan either......We could not have gotten through this epic journey without committed prayer warriors like yourself.

I must humbly admit; I was not consistant with my prayer life when all this started. I was far from what I would consider "being holy". But God let me know that "being holy" was exactly what he was asking of me.... He also gave me clear, distinct directions; they were to "Pray, Hope, & Don't Worry".

He also gave me all of you..... fighting cancer is a frighting, exhustating, and dismal thing to do.... there is NO WAY that we could have fought this battle without the body of Christ. I am a different person because of all of you.....you have taught me how to pray, introduced me to saints I didn't know existed, taught me how to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, taught me how to pray the Rosary with true reverence, encouraged me to keep on keepin' on....helped me to be the best mom I could be.... I could go on and on, but I am still so exhustated....

I want to thank you all again for all your generosity to our family over the past year.... in so many ways.... we felt loved and cared for..... still do....

We hope you can all come the Ethan's funeral and wake. The wake is this Friday, at OLMC church. 6-9 pm. The Funeral is Saturday at OLMC at 9:30 am. Please don't wear much black..... Ethan loved happy colors.....Come in your 'happy' clothes......

We decided against doing a reception, because after that 'phat' party.... there is just no way of topping that.....

I will never be able to repay your kindnesses, but I can promise, if you ever need prayers, you can count on me (and I also know a young man who would love to pray for you too)

With big, big love......

Nancy

You can check out Ethan's speech at his Big Phat Party at:
http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kYrwtc9jyg&feature=youtu.be




________________________________________

Kenpo Boys and John Mary

 

 

 

 

Here are the Shaoalin Kenpo Boys, Kieran, Thomas and Joseph. They have all earned their orange and white belt and they are working so hard to achieve their merit badges. John Mary is working hard as well to keep up with his brothers, he is now 6 months old and over twenty pounds. He is wearing the beret Claire wore in Lourdes. It looks really adorable on him, and it is amazing how very fast he is growing. What a blessing to have our family together.

Praise God!!! Claire is home!!!

Claire came home June 10th after spending over a month in the hospital. We are all so glad to have her home, what a blessing for our family to be together. She has had a rough time the last couple of days adjusting with medicines and pain, but prayerfully she is pulling through it. We ask for your prayers as well as we enjoy this time together as a family and respond to the grace of God. Thank you all so much for your kindness and generosity. We could not have gotten through this time without your help. May God continue to bless you with His grace because of your goodness

For the repose of the soul of Ethan Mills

Sadly, Ethan Mills passed away on June 9th. Joyfully, however, he was surrounded by his family and was at peace. This song, Pie Jesu sung by The Priests, is a wonderful piece of music that allows for mediation and reflection. It is a beautiful depiction of the sorrow and triumph of death. Please continue to pray for the repose of the soul of Ethan Mills and continue to pray for the Mills family who struggles so very much with the loss of Ethan.
God Bless.

Mur. C.

For those of you that text out there this abbreviation is immediately obvious, for me not so much. My husband pointed out that Mur. C. was on the outside of my daughter Claire's door to her hospital room. It is also the abbreviation they put on the bulletin board in ICU with the name of her nurse next to her name to inform the doctors and nurses on staff. This abbreviation means mercy, during this month of the Sacred Heart of Jesus this is what we seek and pray for. This abbreviation for Claire's name has probably been on the board or outside the door of her hospital room for years given all of her surgeries and hospital stays; but I noticed it now after the abbreviation had been written this way for years. I know it takes me awhile to pick up on things, and often I am just not paying attention enough to notice, and I needed the help of my husband to be able to see it. It could also be that I was not ready for what God ultimately would reveal to me in His time. I pray that through all of the struggles and sufferings that conversions happen and grace is received for all the intentions and needs that we pray for.
In addition, while in this month of the Immaculate Heart of Mary I was reading an article about the story of Jesus being found in the temple. This sorrow and joy of our Lady is depicted and written beautifully in the Gospel of Luke. Still, I did not truly understand it's richness until I read a deeper understanding of Mary's own words and the profound concern she expresses to God, her son. Mary, being human, questions Jesus the Son of God asking "why have you done this to us?" Don't we all do this?, or at least feel tempted to do so. "Lord, enough is enough already. Can't you make it stop?" Even Mary, being sinless, was concerned and questioned God's will.
The gospel goes on to explain that Mary told Jesus that she was filled with great anxiety as she and her husband Joseph searched for Him. The blessed Mother is the icon of the acceptance of the will of God. Her fiat allowed the incarnation to take place. She accepted God's will completely, yet she was still anxious. We may not always understand or completely lack worry over our valley of tears in this life. And, as the bible illustrates we are not alone in our anxiousness and worry.
Finally, Jesus tells His mother and foster father Joseph "why were you looking for me, did you not know I must be about my Father's business." Jesus tells them not to worry, and the passage of Luke goes onto explain "they did not understand what He said to them... and His mother kept all these things in her heart." This was all becoming more clear to me enabling me to answer my own dry fellings in prayer. This article explained my feelings of abandonement, my looking and praying to God and finding emptiness. We may not truly understand the will of the Father in our daily lives. Yet, by keeping these things in our heart and fully placing trust in the Lord we can try to imitate Mary's total "yes" to the Lord. Sure we question the purpose of all of it, we may be anxious, and we certainly may not understand everything that we are called to do. We still must persevere in faith, and trust in the Lord. We pray for God's mercy.
We appreciate your prayers for Mur. C.
May the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Immaculate Heart of Mary remain with you always. Amen

Maybe... and then again maybe not...

Claire is in surgery right now, Friday June 4th at 2:00 p.m., the nuerosurgeon felt that she needed to have another correction done to the shunt in her spine. We hope this is it and I believe the surgeon hopes for an end as well, we pray for an end, for a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you all for your prayers. We do appreciate them. I recently heard and was reminded about my need to "surrender." Why do I fight?, why do I plan?, why don't I trust? I sit here and remember all of God's blessings and thank him for all of His gifts and the strength he has given me and the family. I try to let go and let God, but usually it is easier to pay lip service rather than to put it into practice. I am thankful that I went to mass today. I can no longer take for granted the opportunity to attend daily mass, when there is no longer an opportunity to go I am much more appreciative of this gift of mass than ever before. While waiting for Claire two Knights of the Order of Malta came to visit Claire and instead spent time with me and gave me some of the history of the Order. Again, I thanked God for His gift of coming to me, being with me in the people and opportunities that are a part of my life. I can no longer get wrapped up in self pity. Our Lord is present and so generous, and I am so blessed to be on the receiving end in whatever capapcity He chooses to give. I need to get better at receiving, and I ask our Lady to pray for me to grow in that area and to watch over my family.
Our Lady of Philermo, pray for us.

Claire maybe coming home soon!!!

Please continue to keep Claire in your prayers. She has been in the hospital since May 7th, two days after we returned from Lourdes, France. She had two surgeries and spent 3 more weeks in the hospital in rehabilitation. She will have another MRI tomrorrow to see if the shunts in the brain are working properly. The functioning in her legs is improving, but her arms and the pain she experiences in her neck and head are not. We are praying that she will not need another shunt revision, we pray that the MRI will not indicate the need for another surgery. We ask for your prayers as well, for they continue to sustain us and our family.
God Bless you!!

Got fear?

I know I have said this before, but I am a spoiled brat. I have realized this more and more lately given the many things I have taken for granted. I always thought I needed more, that I deserved more, and I continued to ask God for more. I believe that God has blessed me with humiliation to help me gain humility. I needed to come to understand I should appreciate less. I should not have taken for granted our time together as a family. I wanted more. I should not have taken for granted our health, especially Claire's, I wanted more. I should not have taken for granted our income, because I had one before and job changes affected our total income, I wanted more. I should not have taken for granted the economy, the peace and the leadership of our country. I wanted more.
Today it is really hard not worry, not to become fearful of the unknown. The uncertainty with Claire, with finances, with the future, with our country... all of this leads to concern and prayer. However, I recently appreciated the tiny bit of insight given to me regarding fear. It can be an acronym:
F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal
Don't we all blow things out of proportion as we prepare for the unknown.
Rather it is important to Trust, now more than ever. Trust can also be an acronym:
T rue
R esolve
U nder
S evere
T esting
I pray for and confess my spoiled behavior often. During this month of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, I ask to become closer to His heart. Living there and coming to know His will more and more and growing in peace and trust.
Most Sacred Heard of Jesus, have mercy on us.

Movie for Mother.wmv

I just finished the book about Mother Teresa "Come be My light." It is a wonderful book that includes all of her letters and correspondence over the years of her life. I encourage everyone to read it especially those who are trying to do God's will and ultimately find darkness in the attempt.
Blessed Mother Teresa pray for us.

Some thoughts from Sheila...

Hello to one and all!! Mom asked me if I would help her out and just write a little something on the blog and I am happy to do it. So when mom asked me at first I could not think up a single thing to write, but after thinking for a little while I decided to write about what my family has meant to me.
As many of you know, I'm the second oldest of the Murray Clan and although I take great pride in calling myself a Murray, it can be a little frustrating as well. As the second eldest, as well as the eldest daughter, you take on alot of responsibility especially when mom isn't around. I have a lot of responsibilities and chores such as helping with the house and helping with the meals for my 7 younger brothers. While mom is in the hospital with Claire I'm called to be the best older sister that I can be to them. This isn't easy all the time, not because my brothers are hard to deal with, but because there is often so much activity and chaos to deal with our patience runs short and the fault can lie with me as well. If it wasn't for the grace of God and the sacrament of the Holy Eucharist, I would most likely never have the patience that I have throughout the day. And, even with this amazing grace I'm able to receive, some days that go by are not always easier but can be filled with hardships and crosses that I need to continually to take up. But, even with all this and the craziness that goes by day after day, I have come to love my family all the more. I appreciate the little time that we all have left together now that Matthew is growing up and getting ready to move out, now that I have only a year left in high school and am praying about what God is asking of me in my life, now that Claire spends a lot of her time in the hospital and now that all the younger boys are really growing up so fast. I don't think I will ever be able to thank God ebough for giving me such a wonderful family and for putting me in situations such as these so that I can really see how truly blessed I am. I should probably tell my family this more often.
Continue to pray for the Murray Clan for you have no idea how much your prayers mean to us and we will keep all of you in our prayers as well.
God Bless!!

From Thomas, Joseph and Michael

This is Joseph, I am in the third grade. I'm in American Shaolin Kenpo. I love to do it and will be earning my orange and white belt soon.
This is Thomas I'm in the fourth grade and I'm in ASK too. I miss Claire while she is in the hospital now, and I love her and hope she comes out soon.
This is Michael, I am five. I like to play with toys, I like to share. I want to play with Thomas the train on the train table. I also feed the baby and he looks at me and smiles at me.
Goodbye!
Love Thomas and Joseph

An update on the Clan...

So, how are the rest of the clan members doing? We are all doing well, we miss Claire while she is in the hospital doing some rehabilitation after surgery. We ask for your prayers as she continues to work and gain strength. John Mary (Sheila is holding him in the picture) is almost 6 months old and has doubled his weight since birth. He is much adored by all of his siblings and still, although he is very big, gets his brothers and sisters asking to hold him. Fulton, (Peggy is holding him in the picture) is now three years old, is a very precocious and sensitive young boy. He loves to play with his brothers especially trains and cars; he is talking all the time and often trying to stay out of trouble. Next comes Michael,(he is in the front row all the way to the left in the picture) although he is number eight in the birth order, he is often front and center demanding attention, and receiving it either positive or negative. He can't wait to go to school and often tries to get his school work done each day. He is the most strong willed but the most sincere all at the same time. Stephen (Joe is sitting next to him)who is seven almost eight, is doing so well in school, and his recent IEP reflects his growth. He is responding and interacting a little more each day, and he continues to amaze us with his intellect. His siblings often tell us how glad they are to have Stephen in our family, and even though times can be challenging they would'nt have it any other way. Joseph who is eight almost nine(front row left of Michael) is doing well in school also and he is also striving to complete his orange belt in American Shaolin Kenpo. Thomas who is ten (front row and next to Joseph in the picture) is also in American Shaolin Kenpo, he is stuggling with allergies during this rough season and also working hard in American Shaolin Kenpo to receive his orange belt. Kieran is now twelve almost thirteen - a teenager - ( who is sitting next to Fulton in the picture) is doing well in school, is a part of ASK as well as Boy Scouts. We are so proud of him because within a year of boy scouts he has achieved his first class rank and his red jacket. Good Job Kieran! Claire who is now fourteen years old (sitting next to Stephen in the picture) is in the hospital and offering up all of her sufferings for conversions, for priests in this year of the priest, for her family and for her improvement. Sheila who is seventeen (back row of the picture holding baby John) just took her SAT's and is preparing for college, she is looking into different career paths, she is working at a local Catholic book store, working hard in school, preparing for driving, and generally is very busy and so helpful at home. Finally Matthew, who just turned 21 (he is sitting next to Claire in the picture) is applying to another college and is praying and discerning God's call for him in his life. Claire's prayers for him have been tremendously beneficial as well as his ability to spend time with her and help her. He is working and preparing to move on to the next step of his life and vocation.
My wonderful husband Joe is doing well at his new job at Wells Fargo. He is so thankful to have a great group of coworkers especially his boss who he respects and who he is learning a tremendous amount in this new position.
Thank you all for your prayers. God is so good!

'Babies' Trailer HD

I hear about this film but I have not seen it yet. From the trailer it seems great and I am looking forward to seeing it when I have a chance. At this time when the pill turns 50, how much more appropriate to wath a film that glorifies life and the precious gift of having children. Many times we need reminders about the special miracle of conceiving, bearing, birthing and raising a child. Being a mother and having my own family is the best thing I have ever done, ask any mother who has had a career they will most often choose motherhood as their greatest accomplishment. I give thanks to God for my children and for the gift of my motherhood!

Give me Your Eyes that I might see...

"Give me Your Eyes that I might see, give me Your love for humanity." Help me to see others as you them Lord. Help me not to stare, to appreciate others given their own special gifts and dignity. Given my limited experience, living in this Country and traveling to Lourdes, staring from adults and children is very common and difficult to be the one on the receiving end, just ask Claire. Sure, some staring offers pity, while others just reflect nonacceptance and disgust. However in Lourdes we felt love and respect from everyone who looked upon us. The people who looked at Claire at the airport, at the baths, at the hotel, on the street, all did so with care. Reflecting now on our time there I realize that Lourdes is a place where the sick, the infirm, and the disabled are held at a higher esteem. And, why shouldn't this be so, the suffering are "being kissed by Christ," and He would want them close to His mother. This same suffering our Lady endured at the foot of the cross.
In this country those that are ill are not appreciated for their suffering, we hope to alleviate if not remove their suffering. The means today often relegate the sick out of sight so our sensibilities are no longer harmed. The sick and handicapped are not given proper dignity as a child of God. Sure there are handicapped laws and benefits, yet these are empty for the lack of love and respect rightfully given to the human person whether in good health or not. Mother Teresa mentioned: "I think a much greater disease is to be unloved, unwanted. The pain that these people suffer is very difficult to understand, to penetrate. I think this is what our people all over the world are going through." The Missionaries of Charity, the Order of Malta, and St. Vincent De Paul do an outstanding job respecting the dignity of each human person deigned by God. I recently reflected while praying the Chaplet of the Seven Sorrows of Our Lady that a few of the Sorrows of Our Lady are also the Joyful mysteries. (The Presentation and the Finding in the Temple) I am sure that as we reflect on our past joys there is also sorrow, as well as our sorrows bring joy. Our lives would be very shallow without the sufferings that chisel and perfect our soul as we live with others and prepare for eternity.
I know that I need to appreciate and respect the sufferings of others, and to serve them as we are called to do by God. We need the grace which can only be received in caring for the sick and the poor. Not because it may bring emotional benefits or strokes of pride, rather it is because we are called to do so by Christ.
Our Lady of Lourdes pray for us.
Our Lady of Sorrows pray for us.

Happy Birthday Matthew!!!!!

Matthew turned 21 yrs. old today! Yes a milestone for us Americans. Why? Because you are legal. You can buy, drink and patronize pubs with alcohol, you are of age. Most college students celebrate with gusto this right of passage. Now you do not have to worry about being caught while drinking alcohol when you were under age, you can drink legally. So, what did Matthew do to celebrate? He went to visit his younger sister in the hospital. Claire just had another surgery, the second within a week. She is in pain and tired of being in the hospital and Matthew went to sit next to her bed in ICU, and joke, and celebrate his birthday with her since she would not be able to be at home enjoying his birthday with the family. Sure, he could have said "it's my birthday I can visit Claire tomorrow or when she comes back." But, given her feelings and that mom would not be able to be at the hospital until later in the afternoon, Matthew went to spend time with Claire talking about the Giants, telling her stories about her brothers, and sharing experiences that only a big brother and younger sister can share. I am so very proud of my oldest son, he is a beautiful person, striving to live as God is calling him to live, and being a wonderful example for his younger sisters and brothers. Please wish Matthew a happy birthday next time you see him and please continue to keep him and his vocation in your prayers. Praise God for His goodness, now and always.

Another surgery...

Yes, since Claire has returned from the pilgrimage to Lourdes she has had two different shunt revision surgeries. Two days after returning from France and still feeling jet-lagged, the nuerosurgeon requested a late night MRI and surgery on Friday evening. The replacement went well, and she regained some functioning in her arms and legs, still the surgeon feared that the replacement tubing would be a temporary solution and he scheduled a follow-up surgery for yesterday May 11th. Claire is now in ICU at CHO and recovering well with more functioning returning in her arms and legs. Now that we have had a chance to breathe, and look back on the past five days, the cliche that all things happen for a reason is hard to remember in the midst of life, yet with further reflection, how very accurate and appropriate. The travel and trip was hard on Claire and I believe her doctors were concerned about the adjustments her body would have to endure, yet Claire remained stoic through all of it and enjoyed Lourdes temendously. The experience brought so much peace and understanding of God's perfect will in all things. I pray that I can say yes to God more often, especially when things are truly difficult, in order to enable me to be prepared for the blessings recieved in God's plan. God is so good in that He has so much for us to learn if we are open to His instruction.
I ask for your continued prayers and be assured of our prayers for you and your families as well.

Lourdes in Review - By Claire Murray

Going to Lourdes was an incredible experience! The Knights and Dames were always ready to do something for the malades. The churches and the basilica's were gorgeous. And, going to the Grotto was amazing! When we made our flight to Lourdes I was thinking of what I wanted. I wanted to walk and I didn't want to have any more surgeries. But I think God had something else in mind. Ethan Mills, who was also a malade, (and mom might have mentioned him before) has been battling different cancer's most of his life. Now he is in Hospice. He is so strong and courageous. And now he is at the point of death. Almost every time I saw how tired and sick he was, I started to cry. The thoughts of what I wanted faded away. I think it was God's will that I remain how I am so that I could suffer not only for Ethan but also all those who have cancer or those who are close to death. The trip to Lourdes helped me to forget my self and try (although sometimes it is not easy) to help others and let go of my pride. It helped me to find peace. I thank God for the opportunity to be close to Him and his Mother.
I want to thank the Knights and Dames of Malta.
I want to thank my friends and family for all of their prayers and sacrifice.
I want to thank the Blessed Mother and her son Jesus, for all the blessings I have received.
God Bless you all.

Our last day...

Our last day in Lourdes began with mass (what a great way to start the day) at the St. Joseph's underground church. I did video tape some of the music we enjoyed during our pilgrimage as a lasting memory and to share with others. But, I have not learned yet how to put a video up and when I do I will display some of the wonderful music, many of it was in Latin, during our pilgrimage.
The mass was the last event of our pilgrimage.
Claire and I went out following the mass and braved the freezing rain and visited the Poor Clare monastery again, the grotto for one last time, and the book shop.
After getting soaked, we went back out again to visit the St. Bernadette Museum. It was wonderful to go and learn so much about St. Bernadette, the apparitions and her time as an Ursuline nun. What suffering she endured, in her life. Her family was very poor, she was tormented by others, especially by those who did not believe her, and she was in intense pain as she struggled with tuberculosis of the bones. When Our Lady appeared to her, Mary told her that she could not promise her happiness in this life but that she would receive eternal joy in the next. She was never healed by God, the Blessed Virgin never interceded to end her suffering and pain. Rather, Bernadette endured her cross for others, in recompense for the physical and spiritual healing that would occur for the 6 million plus pilgrims who travel to Lourdes every year. Just as our Lord was never promised relief from His suffering and he endured the cross to be able to bring us all to His kingdom.
We have been healed, Claire and I have witnessed so much grace and peace. I feel she is much stronger now, much more able to serve our Lord and give Him her suffering to make up for what is lacking in me and in humanity. I also recognize the wonderful group of brave people on this pilgrimage who have fought the battles with their illnesses or handicaps and persevered through it in faith and trust. We all need to witness such strength in order to persevere through the challenges; and I have become painfully aware of my own selfishness and the need to die to self in order to serve God in my vocation as a wife, and my family as a mother.
Lastly, we have been able to witness the generosity of the Knights and Dames of Malta who serve the sick and the poor and treat each person with such love and dignity The men and women of the order recognize the unique and special gifts of each malade and their personal dignity as created by God. They serve the sick and the poor of today as the order was meant from the beginning. They serve Christ who is suffering, and as in the place of Christ who heals.
I am so grateful to them for their generosity in bringing us to Lourdes. We do plan on supporting the Knights and Dames in the future, and I believe it to be a very worthy cause for all.
Thank you all for your prayers and I ask that they continue as Claire and I hope to have a safe trip home.
God Bless you!

The end of the Pilgrimage...

We are coming to the end of our time in Lourdes, France. Claire and I have had a once in a lifetime opportunity with tremendous blessings and joy. We are so grateful to our parish Immaculate Heart of Mary church in Brentwood as well as the pastor Fr. Jerry Brown, for their support and assistance in enabling us to make this trip.
Today, began early with mass at the parish church, it was the church built after the original burned in a fire, and the church of the Soubourious family. The baptismal font where St. Bernadette was baptized is still in the church and we captured some pictures of the beautiful stained glass as well as the mass itself. I particularly enjoy the stained glass window of St. Anthony and the donkey.
Next we had lunch, did some shopping, picked up some chocolate for the family back home, and then headed to the St. Savin church located up in the mountains nestled close to the Pyrrenes mountains. It was a church built in the 8th century and the story is that Charlemagne fought the battle with the Moors near that area. In the church we had exposition, the stations of the cross and blessing of the sick. It was told to us that most of the healings happen during the Eucharistic processions. Therefore to have so many opportunities in this pilgrimage to be blessed by Jesus in the monstrance is a unique opportunity. We all may expect physical healings, but I do know that more healings are needed and occur spiritually and never appreciated for their tremendous grace. Later we came back to hotel to rest and then attended the farewell dinner. We had a chance to say good bye and thank the Knights and Dames who helped us during our pilgrimage as well as speak with some of the other malades and companions who have been so kind and helpful during our stay. I have included the pictures of the kind and generous people in the slideshow for today. I know I have taken many pictures of churches, or masses or bishops that you would think I was in Rome. Yet, they are such a crucial part of our stay that it would be hard to leave them out.
I do apologize that the photography is not very good, I know that there will be better pictures offered from the Knights of Malta.
Do check out Seth's blog, he told me about it today, and continue to keep Ethan in your prayers.
God Bless you!