The complimentarity of the Sexes

 I saw this video recently and really appreciated this young man's desire to love.  It really made me think, however, what kind of a masochist would want to love like that?  Who wants to have a "Crucifixion type love?"  I know that type of beating and suffering would frighten me, I am not afraid of suffering for my husband or my children or those that I love.  I do want to give everything for my beloved and would endure all things for him, but being crucified?  It frightens me and I am not sure I could endure it.  Then I began to think further of how men and women love.  Joe and i have been taking Theology of the Body classes through the Diocese of Oakland as well as marriage preparation courses to help engaged couples who will be married in the Church.  We have been learning alot about love and what it means to love.  We knew that it was willing the good of the other, and a choice to be made even when you don't feel like it.  Yet, when we, as women, want to love do we want to give it all in such a violent and demanding way?  I realized that men have that ability.  A majority of men in service to their country are in combat positions.  Not only because they are the stronger gender, but also because of the ability the male has to protect and defend.  And, as a result aren't we all grateful for that?  Men have the capacity to give of themselves so completely and women have the God given ability to be the receivers of such a precious gift of love.  Now, please don't misunderstand me, I am not saying that women are not capable of giving love in such a complete and selfless manner as this poet describes.  No, not at all women's love for men, husbands, children, family is also life-giving and overwhelming, look at childbirth for example.  Yet, I would characterize the love that I want to have for him, my husband, as the love that the Blessed Mother demonstrated through Calvary and at the foot of the cross.  She had the love that could called her to withstand all suffering she witnessed.  She had the "kinda love" that would not abandon her son, would pray and support Him in His agonizing journey to Calvary.  Our Lady demonstrated the type of love that does not recoil when threatened or become overly dramatic when danger is eminent.  The Blessed Virgin Mary was silent at the foot of the cross and listened to the words of giving when her son Jesus entrusted her care to his beloved disciple John.  She received His gift love, enduring her own painful trials in watching her only son be tortured and die.  She received His love and loved others in a more complete way because of that gift.  That love is what I want to be for my husband, my lover, my friend.  Not only because it is a more perfect love, not thinking of myself but of what he needs. But most importantly it is the love that does not have expectations, because those "expectations" can be predetermined hatred. Rather,  in our differences so perfectly created by God, I need to demonstrate my respect and admiration for my spouse.  My total gift of self in love.  We as women, don't we really want someone who will love us with that kind of perseverance and total commitment?  Of course we do.  Therefore, we as a society, men and women, need to make a conscious effort to appreciate more fully the differences of men and women, especially when it comes to loving our spouses.  We need to embrace it, celebrate it, but most importantly perfect that kind of love that Our Lord and Our Lady demonstrated at the cross and try to live that out in the crosses of our daily lives.  Thank you for letting me preach a bit about love and I ask for your prayers for young people learning how to love today in a confusing and dark period of time as well as for couples preparing for marriage and life-long  love. May God continue to Bless you and keep you!