The complimentarity of the Sexes

 I saw this video recently and really appreciated this young man's desire to love.  It really made me think, however, what kind of a masochist would want to love like that?  Who wants to have a "Crucifixion type love?"  I know that type of beating and suffering would frighten me, I am not afraid of suffering for my husband or my children or those that I love.  I do want to give everything for my beloved and would endure all things for him, but being crucified?  It frightens me and I am not sure I could endure it.  Then I began to think further of how men and women love.  Joe and i have been taking Theology of the Body classes through the Diocese of Oakland as well as marriage preparation courses to help engaged couples who will be married in the Church.  We have been learning alot about love and what it means to love.  We knew that it was willing the good of the other, and a choice to be made even when you don't feel like it.  Yet, when we, as women, want to love do we want to give it all in such a violent and demanding way?  I realized that men have that ability.  A majority of men in service to their country are in combat positions.  Not only because they are the stronger gender, but also because of the ability the male has to protect and defend.  And, as a result aren't we all grateful for that?  Men have the capacity to give of themselves so completely and women have the God given ability to be the receivers of such a precious gift of love.  Now, please don't misunderstand me, I am not saying that women are not capable of giving love in such a complete and selfless manner as this poet describes.  No, not at all women's love for men, husbands, children, family is also life-giving and overwhelming, look at childbirth for example.  Yet, I would characterize the love that I want to have for him, my husband, as the love that the Blessed Mother demonstrated through Calvary and at the foot of the cross.  She had the love that could called her to withstand all suffering she witnessed.  She had the "kinda love" that would not abandon her son, would pray and support Him in His agonizing journey to Calvary.  Our Lady demonstrated the type of love that does not recoil when threatened or become overly dramatic when danger is eminent.  The Blessed Virgin Mary was silent at the foot of the cross and listened to the words of giving when her son Jesus entrusted her care to his beloved disciple John.  She received His gift love, enduring her own painful trials in watching her only son be tortured and die.  She received His love and loved others in a more complete way because of that gift.  That love is what I want to be for my husband, my lover, my friend.  Not only because it is a more perfect love, not thinking of myself but of what he needs. But most importantly it is the love that does not have expectations, because those "expectations" can be predetermined hatred. Rather,  in our differences so perfectly created by God, I need to demonstrate my respect and admiration for my spouse.  My total gift of self in love.  We as women, don't we really want someone who will love us with that kind of perseverance and total commitment?  Of course we do.  Therefore, we as a society, men and women, need to make a conscious effort to appreciate more fully the differences of men and women, especially when it comes to loving our spouses.  We need to embrace it, celebrate it, but most importantly perfect that kind of love that Our Lord and Our Lady demonstrated at the cross and try to live that out in the crosses of our daily lives.  Thank you for letting me preach a bit about love and I ask for your prayers for young people learning how to love today in a confusing and dark period of time as well as for couples preparing for marriage and life-long  love. May God continue to Bless you and keep you!

Update on the Murray Family...

I know it has been a long time since I have written anything about the family, and it has been awhile since I have  written anything on the blog.   So many things are going on with the family it is very difficult to find any time to do anything other than meals, school, activities and prayer.  Not in that order of course. 
The family is doing very well.  The boys ( Michael, Stephen, Joseph, and Thomas) are very busy with school, martial arts and church activities.  It seems we always have somewhere to go and we are rushing to get all it all in.  They are happy, and growing and maturing every day.  Fulton and John Mary are the busy boys who get into all kinds of mayhem.  They enjoy each others company and love to play together.  Unless one or the other has a toy they cannot share.  Kieran, Thomas, and Joseph are working hard in school and looking forward to it's completion in just a few weeks.  They are all Squires with the Knights of Columbus, busy with Martial, altar serving and Kieran is involved with Youth group at the Parish.  There is so much socialization happening at times it is very hard to squeeze school in between the driving around. 
Claire is doing phenomenal - Praise God! - she just had her feeding tube removed because she is eating better and maintaining weight.  Although she should weigh much more, it was time to have it removed and she is so glad to have it gone.  She works weekly on her blog about the Giants and would love to have more readers so please let her know you are following her insights.  Sheila has been working many hours lately, she has been able to purchase a car with the help of her grandparents and uncle, she is taking a class and will continue through the summer.  She wants to be able to pay for school herself rather than rely on school debt.  Joe and I are so proud of her initiative, hard work and perseverance.  Finally, Matthew has completed his second year at seminary and has graduated with a BA in Philosophy.  We are the parents of a College graduate.  Boy, do we feel old, it truly is amazing to realize our oldest is now moving on to post graduate work as he prepares to become a Catholic priest.  Proud and blessed are just a few of the words to describe how we feel about Matthew and his vocation.  They do not accurately reveal however the grace that his presence has had on the Murray clan and everyone that he comes in contact with, Thanks be to God.  Joe is plugging along at work.  He has been there for over two years and like most of his employers they love him there.  Truly, what is not to love!
Currently Joe and I have been blessed to be a part of the Diocesan program for Marriage Preparation.  The wonderful Desimone couple has been patiently working with us and we are so grateful to them for their leadership; as well as their gift to marriage to those they instruct as well as those who come into their presence.  I love being a part of their class because I gain so much insight on how to be a better wife to my husband, the Desimone's have graced us with so much valuable information I could never adequately thank them for all of the blessings they have given us.
I hope to have more updates about Matthew and his plans in future posts.  But I ask for your continued prayers and thank God for his Blessings!  God Bless you.

Happy Birthday Matthew!!

Matthew graduated from St. Patrick's Seminary in Menlo park last Friday with a Degree in Philosophy!  He turned 23 on Saturday!  His father and I are so very proud of him and realize how very appropriate his name is and what he means us.  Matthew means gift from God and he truly is to our family as well as the larger Christian family... the Catholic Church.  May God continue to Bless you abundantly and all of the work you do for the Church!!