Today we had the opportunity to meet the pilgrims and malades who will be going on the pilgrimage with Claire and I. This was a truly surreal moment. Joe, my husband, shared with me when we were accepted as pilgrims that he had prayed most of his life to go to Lourdes. I cannot say that I have done that. Lourdes seemed a dream that was unattainable. I prayed for Claire to go, but given all of the changes in the last year with finances and troubles, I never thought it would be possible. I guess I had very little faith.
At the luncheon, after meeting the other pilgrims and organizers, we sat down to a buffet lunch and then we were introduced to the leaders of the pilgrimage. The leaders had a chance to speak about the trip and to help prepare us we watched a video of last years trip. While watching the slide show I felt overwhelmed with emotion. What a blessing to be there, to be selected to go at the desire of Our Lady, at the will of God. How awesome and overwhelming. For a moment, I wanted to run. Why?!! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. A very generous group pays for you to go to France and participate in a pilgrimage to Lourdes. What a gift!! But, I felt unworthy and as if this gift was given to a person totally undeserving of these opportunities. "Depart from me Lord a sinner." The director of the pilgrimage mentioned to all the pilgrims that no one is worthy. For some reason Our Lady and Our Lord had selected us, me, and we needed to submit to their will.
I had a chance recently to reflect on this further. I have prayed for many things, this trip being one of my petitions. Having those prayers, those pleadings being sent to heaven and at the feet of Our Lady made me feel hope and confidence. Some of the prayers would be answered in my favor, and yet many times the answer to my prayer was no. I knew intellectually then, it was God's will; but so often I act like a spoiled child demanding my will, my wants. When your prayers are answered, and so abundantly. It leaves you speechless, unworthy and overwhelmed. How can I every adequately thank or repay the Orders of Malta, my family, and our parish for their generosity. Most importantly how can I thank God and His mother sufficiently for granting me this wonderful gift.
I pray constantly that I am pleasing God and doing His will. Please help me always to do your will, Lord.
A gentleman sitting next to Claire and I at the lunch who went on the pilgrimage 4 yrs ago. mentioned that he has vivid, beautiful memories of his trip to Lourdes, he said he was old and can't remember much but he does remember his trip perfectly. I pray for that ability and to be able to share it with others in the future.
Our Lady of Lourdes, Pray for us.
St. Bernadette, Pray for us.
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